The Lunacy of The Global Flood Myth

It is hard to contain both the immense hilarity and anger that this most ridiculous of ideas flares up within me.

“It is entirely impossible that any arch made of wood with the dimensions described in the bible could have possibly withstood the immense force of a global flood. Whoever made up and/or over-exaggerated this story clearly didn’t understand the implications of what they were saying.” ~Me

“There was 40 days for it to happen, it could have been a gradual process.” ~  Global Flood Believer

Let the facts speak for themselves:

Highest peak on Earth:

8, 848 Meters

Surface area of Earth:

510, 072, 000, 000 Meters

Minimal area needed for flood waters to cover in bible story:

8, 848 x 510, 072, 000, 000 = 4, 513, 117, 056, 000, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per day:

4, 513, 117, 056, 000, 000 divided by 40 days = 112, 827, 926, 400, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per hour:

112, 827, 926, 400, 000 divided by 24 = 4, 701, 163, 600, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per minute:

4, 701, 163, 600, 000 divided by 60 = 78, 352, 726, 666.6667 Meters

Increase in meters of water per second:

78, 352, 726, 666.6667 divided by 60 = 1, 305, 878, 777.77778 Meters

Meters to feet:

1, 305, 878, 777.77778 = 2, 551.76 ft.

Feet per second to Miles per hour:

2, 551.76 fps = 1, 739.8363636359 mph

The flood waters would have to be increasing by over 1, 739 mph in order to cover all the mountains within 40 days.

Which is 2.26432291666667 times the speed of sound(768 mph).

So much for your “gradual” idea.

I’ve already double checked my numbers but feel free to do so yourself.

Now tell me, mister bible thumper, if an Arch made of wood could survive–LET ALONE KEEP EVERYTHING IN IT ALIVE!–while being repeatedly impounded by unimaginably large walls of water traveling faster than most Air-force jets!

Then also answer me this you terrorists upon the mind!

Why are all the kangaroos in Australia?

Why are all the penguins in Antarctica?

How did so many species of animals get over to the Americas?

If the flood story is true you would not expect these things.

AND MORE STILL!! Have you ever noticed the complete absence of any explanation on how exactly all these animals were being fed?! You would have to bring extra animals on for the carnivores. What about all the waste?! Not only would it need to be disposed of but even if that was done it would still most certainly ravish the entire ship with disease in a matter of no time.

How the fuck could you possibly buy this garbage?! Have you no sense?! It is utter logical failure on the most epic of scales! You have the intellectual abilities equivalent to that of a vegetable.

I rest my case.


3 Responses to “The Lunacy of The Global Flood Myth”

  1. You might have checked the numbers on a calculator, but you have a few problems with your equations:

    Your first multiplication implies that the earth is flat, not round. That might help you with the biblical literalists, but I don’t think that is what you are going for.

    Also, the surface area of the earth is meters^2. And meters^2 x meters = meters^3. Units do matter. I’ll let you figure out how to get from meters^3 to the speed of the flood rains.

  2. The surface area of a flat surface is constant as its height increases.
    The surface area of a sphere increases as its diameter increases.
    Due to the curvature of the sphere, you need more water to increase the depth of water from 1,000 meters to 1,001 meters than you did to increase the depth from 100 meters to 101 meters.

    Granted, none of this matters, since any mathematical refutation is not going to change the minds of a biblical literalist, but in such polarizing debates, people love to take the weakest argument on the opposing side and use it as proof in a straw man argument.

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