GLENN BECK RAPED AND MURDERED A GIRL IN 1990!!!!!!!

Fact #1 : There were girls in 1990

Fact #2 : There was Glenn beck in 1990

Fact #3 : There was rape in 1990

coincidence??? I think not!

Fact #4: Rapists are major asssholes.

Fact #5: Glenn Beck is a major assshole.

Everything ties together!

Somebody get me fucking a chalk-board!!!

The evidence is clear that GLENN BECK RAPED AND MURDERED A GIRL IN 1990.

In-fact, after suspicions started to pop-up Glenn Beck’s lawyers have actively been trying to silence the allegations!!

JUST WHAT IS HE TRYING TO HIDE?!?!?!

And just what is this guy’s story?

The great tragedy of Glenn Beck’s life (and even more so of ours) is that his mother killed herself after giving birth to him instead of before. Legend has it that he drove her to consume entire bottles of pills just by talking to her at the dinner table one night.

Following this delicious swig of human tragedy, Glenn became a shit-faced drunk and a serial fondler of fat women, admitting later that he did this because the fat women reminded him of his mother, whom he’d always wanted to have meaty, sweaty sex with. Mama Beck had been morbidly obese as a result of all of the heavy drinking and compulsive eating she had done three years after giving birth to Glenn when he first began to speak and she realized what a raging asshole had come out of her pussy.

After years of drinking, fondling and crying like a bleeding vagina, and a brief period in the 80’s where he got heavily into cocaine, sucking dicks made of used syringes in dumpsters full of bloody diapers filled with razor blades, as well as underage Arab boy-whores, it’s obvious that all this trauma must have lead to the inevitable RAPING AND MURDERING OF A GIRL IN 1990.

He finally found Jesus, who appeared to him in the form of Ronald Reagan, offering Glenn his own radio show in exchange for his first-born child and two hours of analignus every Sunday. Little did Glenn know that Reagen also was a rapist who had 10 sessions a day of BDSM with Beck’s daughter, causing her cerebral palsy, proving that Glenn Beck can’t do anything right, including how to make a baby.

Now, just to be FAIR AND BALANCED, their are some dumbfuck opponents to the idea that GLENN BECK RAPED AND MURDERED A GIRL IN 1990. The only good arguments they could possibly have is that Glenn Beck does not possess a penis. They really have something there–HOWEVER!– It can quickly be defeated by the fact that Glenn Beck himself is a dick.

The evidence is overwhelming that GLENN BECK DID IN-FACT RAPE AND MURDER A GIRL IN 1990! LET US BRING JUSTICE TO THIS MAD-MAN! SPREAD THE WORD!

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