Archive for the Bible Category

YOU AIN’T GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!!!

Posted in AWESOME, Bible, Christianity, HUMOR, Religion on July 2, 2010 by FЯEEDO

Next time one of those annoying street preachers come up to ya screwin your ears fulla Jesus, this is all you gotta do..

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The Real Founding Fathers

Posted in Atheism, Bible, Christianity, Faith, Free-thought, God, Jesus, Justice, Morality, Quotes, Religion, Uncategorized on May 24, 2010 by FЯEEDO

I am so sick and tired of hearing these religious nut-cases proclaim America’s founding fathers as their heroes who set up this country on Judeo-Christian values. The immense perversion of such blasphemy to history wreaks of pure vulgarity.

Allow me to introduce you to the real founding fathers:

“Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“The way to see by faith is to close the eye of reason”
~ Benjamin Franklin

“It is from the Bible that man has learned cruelty, rapine and murder; for the belief of a cruel God makes a cruel man.”
~ Thomas Paine

“The Christian system of religion is an outrage on common sense.”
~ Thomas Paine

“I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father, expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even infinitely above it.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

“As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?”
~ John Adams

“In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“What influence, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the civil authority; on many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they been the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wish to subvert the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it, needs them not.”
~ James Madison

“The story of the redemption will not stand examination. That man should redeem himself from the sin of eating an apple by committing a murder on Jesus Christ, is the strangest system of religion ever set up.”
~ Thomas Paine

“Thirteen governments [of the original states] thus founded on the natural authority of the people alone, without a pretence of miracle or mystery, and which are destined to spread over the northern part of that whole quarter of the globe, are a great point gained in favor of the rights of mankind.”
~ John Adams

“This would be the best of possible worlds, if there were no religion in it”
~John Adams

“Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effects of coercion? To make one half of the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the Earth.
~ Thomas Jefferson

“It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticisms that three are one, and one is three; and yet that the one is not three, and the three are not one.  But this constitutes the craft, the power and the profit of the priests.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“The most detestable wickedness, the most horrid cruelties, and the greatest miseries that have afflicted the human race have had their origin in this thing called revelation, or revealed religion.”
~ Thomas Paine

“Yet this is trash that the Church imposes upon the world as the Word of God; this is the collection of lies and contradictions called the Holy Bible! This is the rubbish called Revealed Religion!”
~Thomas Paine

“History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government.  This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.”
~ Thomas Jefferson

“Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.
~ Benjamin Franklin

“All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.”
~ Thomas Paine

“In the affairs of the world, men are saved, not by faith, but by the lack of it.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

“I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature.  They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

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I’d also like to add that though George Washington didn’t have any bold anti-religious quotes besides the separation of church and state, he himself was only a Christian in name. He refused to ever take communion, to pray on his death bed and also never mentioned the name Jesus Christ even once out of all his many letters.

_____

And lastly I leave you with a quote from the new testament:

Romans 13:1:  “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God.  Therefore whoever resist authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.”

A few songs that suit me well.

Posted in Anarchy, Atheism, AWESOME, Bible, Capitalism, Christianity, Defiance, Environmentalism, Free-speech, God, HUMOR, Jesus, Justice, Leftism, Libertarianism, Music, Politics, Protesting, Religion, Socialism, Uncategorized on May 9, 2010 by FЯEEDO

Lol, enjoy.

This first one is my personal theme song.

Bible Contradictions

Posted in Atheism, Bible, Christianity, God, HUMOR, Jesus, Uncategorized on May 4, 2010 by FЯEEDO

This video gives a good review of a few of them. I find this both pitiful and hilarious.

Christianity in Summary

Posted in Atheism, Bible, Christianity, Faith, God, HUMOR, Jesus, LOGIC, Religion on April 28, 2010 by FЯEEDO

IM GOING TO CREATE MAN AND WOMEN WHO WILL  EAT A FRUIT WHICH I PLACE IN FRONT OF THEM AND MAKE A TALKING SNAKE TO CONVINCE THEM TO EAT AFTER I TELL THEM NOT TO SO I CAN CONDEMN THEM FOR IT. THEN AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF GENOCIDE AT MY COMMAND I WILL IMPREGNATE A VIRGIN WITH MYSELF AS A CHILD, SO THAT I CAN BE BORN. ONCE ALIVE, I WILL KILL MYSELF AS A SACRIFICE TO MYSELF TO SAVE YOU FROM THE SIN I ORIGINALLY CONDEMNED YOU TO!

TU-DUH!!

The Lunacy of The Global Flood Myth

Posted in Bible, Christianity, LOGIC, Math on March 27, 2010 by FЯEEDO

It is hard to contain both the immense hilarity and anger that this most ridiculous of ideas flares up within me.

“It is entirely impossible that any arch made of wood with the dimensions described in the bible could have possibly withstood the immense force of a global flood. Whoever made up and/or over-exaggerated this story clearly didn’t understand the implications of what they were saying.” ~Me

“There was 40 days for it to happen, it could have been a gradual process.” ~  Global Flood Believer

Let the facts speak for themselves:

Highest peak on Earth:

8, 848 Meters

Surface area of Earth:

510, 072, 000, 000 Meters

Minimal area needed for flood waters to cover in bible story:

8, 848 x 510, 072, 000, 000 = 4, 513, 117, 056, 000, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per day:

4, 513, 117, 056, 000, 000 divided by 40 days = 112, 827, 926, 400, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per hour:

112, 827, 926, 400, 000 divided by 24 = 4, 701, 163, 600, 000 Meters

Increase in meters of water per minute:

4, 701, 163, 600, 000 divided by 60 = 78, 352, 726, 666.6667 Meters

Increase in meters of water per second:

78, 352, 726, 666.6667 divided by 60 = 1, 305, 878, 777.77778 Meters

Meters to feet:

1, 305, 878, 777.77778 = 2, 551.76 ft.

Feet per second to Miles per hour:

2, 551.76 fps = 1, 739.8363636359 mph

The flood waters would have to be increasing by over 1, 739 mph in order to cover all the mountains within 40 days.

Which is 2.26432291666667 times the speed of sound(768 mph).

So much for your “gradual” idea.

I’ve already double checked my numbers but feel free to do so yourself.

Now tell me, mister bible thumper, if an Arch made of wood could survive–LET ALONE KEEP EVERYTHING IN IT ALIVE!–while being repeatedly impounded by unimaginably large walls of water traveling faster than most Air-force jets!

Then also answer me this you terrorists upon the mind!

Why are all the kangaroos in Australia?

Why are all the penguins in Antarctica?

How did so many species of animals get over to the Americas?

If the flood story is true you would not expect these things.

AND MORE STILL!! Have you ever noticed the complete absence of any explanation on how exactly all these animals were being fed?! You would have to bring extra animals on for the carnivores. What about all the waste?! Not only would it need to be disposed of but even if that was done it would still most certainly ravish the entire ship with disease in a matter of no time.

How the fuck could you possibly buy this garbage?! Have you no sense?! It is utter logical failure on the most epic of scales! You have the intellectual abilities equivalent to that of a vegetable.

I rest my case.